"I Fear Dee"

I Fear Dee..

September 17, 2008 just a typical day for me, nothings new, nothing is change.

Exchanging smiles to people at the office, exchanging blah to people I talk with, surfing the web, listening to music, recordings and stuff, enjoying eating. Everything is too normal.

Until the clock hits 5:20 of September 18 the peace of mind that I had disappeared because of news I heard from one of my dearest officemates, whom I consider as my second mom, she just found out that her dad whose miles away from her died early morning of September 17.

She was screaming and crying. I run to her as quickly as possible not knowing why she’s freaking out like that. I manage to follow her in the ladies room and as I enter I saw the look at her face. I can sense doubt, questions, pain and eagerness.

Right after I hug her then I found out why she acted that way. Then other people came in to show there support for her. It’s obvious that she’s still in shock and nervous. She knows within her that there’s no way she can deflect what she just found out.

As we calm her down we went back inside our office. She sat down in her table and continued what she was doing before she burst out. She keeps on telling us that she’s ok and she’ll be ok.

I returned to my table having a blank mind then I sit back and look at the monitor of my computer not noticing tears that’s so warm running down my face, then I started hearing my heart beat so loud and then things started coming in my head like bullets that really gives me Goosebumps..

My memories bout my father started flashing and my brain keeps on showing things that I don’t like to see. Things that is possible to happen. If when, I don’t know? But I’m sure that its fear that I sense in me.

Fear of loosing my father, fear of going home without a father to see, being not able to talk to him permanently. As I cry silently I decided to pray and to call unto him. All of this year I was in denial about what I really feel for my father, I use to hate him while I’m growing up, But its just now that I realize that no matter how bad he his to me his still my father and I’m still his son..

Good thing that it’s not too late for me for us to catch up on things we missed. So to who ever is reading this you should be thankful for every person and love ones that’s with us right now, for we never know what future held’s for us.

You might wake up someday finding out that the one’s you love already went back to where life all started. So spend some time to your love one’s for time is not on our side forever.

T.O.L : jvqfreak